The theme for this month was prioritizing. How'd you do?
Me, I did some careful thinking about the things I do, why I do them, and who I'm doing them for. Over the past few months, certain things have been a bit wobbly for me. After all I spent three and a half years in a relationship with someone I was planning to marry. I developed habits, expectations, etc. that were a reflection of that relationship. Then, from one day to the next, that relationship dissolved, leaving me to do a lot of rethinking.
Within the past month or so, I think most of that wobbliness has finally grown steady. Along with that growing steadiness has come a growing certainty about the need to change some things. Most of those changes are personal, so I'm not going to go into detail. (See? I haven't lost all of my mystery.)
Writing-wise, I'm moving away from having so much of an audience. A funny thing to say, given that I've got this blog and that I've already promised a few people that they get to read The Tree Story once I've finished the draft. But, I'm probably not going to submit to the group this coming month and I don't know if I'll ever show the latest story to everyone. This isn't a negative reflection on them, but right now they're not who I'm writing for.
The thesis has been knocked down one priority notch (and knowing I have until next fall to complete it helps take the pressure off) and Oracle has been officially sidelined. I don't have anything specific that I want to write instead, but I want to open myself up to having my next story be whatever strikes me vs. something specific. I need to spend some time writing simply because it's fun, and the rest of it gets to be on hold for now.
Well, enough about me. What about you? Have you made any changes and/or decisions to change this month? Any realizations?
3 comments:
Writing for fun, huh? Cool concept.
Just kidding, kind of. It does seem to become about numbers after a while. Number of words, pages and (one day, we hope) money.
The realization I came to is that everything and everyone else seems to come before my writing. Some of that is necessary--work, for instance. But a lot of it isn't. Most of it isn't. And I am the one who decides these things.
So, I am working on making that happen.
I think it's good that you are focusing on letting things come to you. I mean, that's the fun part of the writing, isn't it? That moment a new idea you weren't expecting hits you. But, if you're so busy focusing on how many words you're putting down, you forget what the hell you were trying to say in the first place...if anything. And sometimes people, well-meaning people, like ourselves, actually get in the way with too much encouragement...does that make any kind of sense? We add a pressure that doesn't have to be there.
However, if you are not finishing a piece because you've 'lost inspiration' or 'it's gotten too hard' then you need a swift in the you-know-what. It's good to know when to say 'push me' and equally valuable to know when to say 'leave me the eff alone'.
True, sometimes it is possible for people to be TOO helpful. But, that's when you've got to step in and declare some space for yourself. Mostly my struggle isn't with pressure from others, but rather pressure from myself. Slightly more difficult to tell yourself to ease up.
When I'm ready for more encouragement (read: nagging), I know where to find it :)
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