Gotta Call It Something

I used to know exactly what to call my thesis, but then I changed direction with it and now the most-fitting thing I can think of to call it is "the thesis." The title for this one is killing me. I have a couple options:
The Lost McKades
The Lost and Found McKades
Lost Birds
To Find a Falcon

Yet, none of them strike me quite the way I want them to. I'm thinking that since I'm still tweaking things, that the title is waiting to come to me when I finish revisions. Or, maybe this is one where I'll need to rely on other people to find the obvious. I'm hoping that if I stay stuck, the CWCers or Juan will be able to peg it.

Thanksgiving In the Garage

This semester Amanda is taking a creative non-fiction class. A few days ago, she asked me to look at one of her pieces. I asked her about what kind of feedback she'd like, so I had guidelines on how grammatical, blunt, etc. to be. Amanda said, "Be gentle."

This morning I read a story she wrote about her family and Thanksgiving. I made minimal marks and those marks were just lines beside things that stuck out to me, no actual words. Then we chatted about 'em. I went gently.

Biggest victory of the chat was adjusting her story telling structure and, my favorite, naming it. She had a title, but it didn't quite fit. When I asked her why she titled it that, she kinda shrugged and said she has a hard time with titles.

"Okay," I said. "When you think about this story, what's the biggest thing that sticks in your mind?"

"My aunt continuing to eat the stuffing, even though she kept complaining about it."

"But that's something that happened that day, not something you wrote on the page. On the page, what sticks out to you?"

"Me and my brother sitting in the garage."

"That's perfect!"

You see, the story starts off with Amanda having a conversation with her mom about why Amanda can't host Thanksgiving this year (because the only place there's room is in the garage). Then you go back a few years to Thanksgiving at Amanda's parents' and there's an argument going on over dinner. To escape, Amanda and her brother duck into the garage. It's beautifully parallel.

I feel like helping Amanda get a new title (a perfect title, if I do say so myself) is my biggest accomplishment for today. I just can't help wondering if that might be a bad sign.

New Thesis Title

After the second push on thesis pages, and my change in direction, I realize that my initial title no longer fits. Thus, I'm faced with finding a new thesis title.

I don't like not having a title for the thesis. I'm in the process of playing around with some, making lists, trying to decide what I want to use as a focal point. I wonder, would it work to call it Falco Sparverius, or would that be all wrong? What about The 250 Year Molt? I almost feel like I'm coming full circle back to my very first ideas about the thesis, like I want the word "totem" to fit in the title somehow.

I'm taking it as a good sign that I've circled back around, maybe it means I was on the right track all along. Maybe I should look all the way back and see what my first thoughts on title were, maybe I've already named the thesis exactly right, but have just forgotten.

I May End Up Regretting This

For a while, I've had a vague idea that one day I'd write about working in a bar. A number of people on different occasions have also thought this'd be a good idea. Today, I figured out the characters, bar layout, and general plot arcs of just such a story. Except, it's not a story, it's a novel.

And, with my next CWC deadline quickly approaching, and a general lack of pages of pages on my end, I really need to get in gear to get my 50 pages ready for my next submission. Except, I decided that today would be a good day to write the first scene of the bar novel.

Deadline? What deadline?

Now if only I could decide what to call the novel. Brainstorm:
Zen and the Art of Pretending to Like People
18 Koans for Cocktailing
The Universal Rules of Beer Wenching
Enlightenment and Girly Martinis
The Saturday-Mornings-at-Dusty's Club
Fate and Tequila

It might be too early in the game to settle on a title quite yet, but are there any you guys like?

Intentional Coffee Shop Pages

Went to a new coffee shop last night and did my first out-of-the-house pages since I acquired a dog. It felt good. I got about two and a half pages of the story about finding bones.

Since the other day when Deb told me what she saw as my thesis theme, I've been slowly seeing more and more of it myself. After all this time, trying to figure out what connects my stories and being too close to them, I think her comment was just what I needed to be able to take that step back. While I'm still very much looking forward to what the group has to say, I'm starting to feel I have my own direction.

Which is even better for hearing others' comments.

Whenever we're talking about writing, one of those bottom lines we're talking about is what the author is trying to convey versus what the reader sees. As the writer, I can have a crystal clear vision of exactly what the story is in my mind, but unless the reader reaches the same conclusion, my vision is a moot point. Sometimes, unexpected and fun things come out of this when the reader says, "Well, here's what I see," and it's completely different from what the writer had planned, but better than the writer's plan. Then you steal the reader's vision and use your revision to bring it out, all the while claiming that it's what you were going for the whole time.

So, now that I have a clearer idea of where I'm going, I'll be better able to use the feedback from the CWC folks. Now I have a baseline.

The reason I've brought this all up is because it's relevant to my pages last night. Thesis themes have been rolling around in my head and I've been looking more closely at how those themes cross from one story to the next. Last night I sat down with an idea, which would have been alright on its own, and then played with it a bit to make it fit the themes I can see elsewhere in my thesis. In short, I sat there and said, "Well, how can I make it speak to theme X? Well, if I change this detail, then it relates to that other thing, and if I make the setting this place, then that has something in common with the other story..."

Last night, as I sat there with a raspberry green tea and my fountain pen, was the first time I worked on a thesis story with clear ideas of what made it a thesis story.

Cool, huh?

The Tattoo Story

I just finished getting that sucker all typed up. Man, I hadn't realized how long it is. When I was writing it out, I only numbered every physical page (i.e. each sheet of paper) so in my mind, I kept thinking about it as a seven-page story. Turns out it's more like a twelve-pager. Okay, so it's not epic, but it's almost twice the number of pages I had in my mind that I needed to type. Perception is everything.

It's funny, what can happen when transcribing. I use transcription as a way of doing a built-in edit. Since I'm typing it anyway, I might as well fix things as I go. The best part is when I'm typing one line and I think "this is how the next one should go" then I look over and that is, in fact, the way I'd written it - even though my thought felt original and clever.

Originally, I planned to make the tattoo story the title story for my thesis, but this second time around the title didn't really seem to work. Now I'm calling it Needle and Thread instead. Oh well, that's how it goes.

Well, back to getting my submission ready. I've got at least seven pages to go in order to meet the minimum, and I find myself distressingly unsure of how to fill them. I was sure I had more pages than I apparently do. Drat.

All The Pieces

A couple days ago I mentioned using a line from A Knight's Tale for the title of my thesis. On Friday, I had dinner with the gang and ran the line past them. The consensus: they approve, but Jenny's still holding out for "Pieces of Birds" instead. Tough, Jenny. You didn't name the baby Gertrude, so I owe you nothing :)

Today I watched the movie again, because I wanted to make sure and get the line right before making any kind of announcement about it. So, here we go:

One scene in the movie involves the characters all circled around, writing a love letter to Heath Ledger's love interest. Mark Addy's character contributes, "The pieces of my broken heart are so small they could pass through the eye of a needle."

Later, this line pays off beautifully when Paul Bettany (a.k.a Chaucer), says "With all the pieces of my heart" which is what caught in my head the other day and wouldn't let go, except when it caught in my head the line was, "With all the pieces of my broken heart." That's why that first line is important, see?

In any event, the line is about an idea we talked about a lot in poetry classes with David - the idea of "adult grief." The short explanation of the idea is embracing the sorrow of life and holding it close because that's where real art/emotion comes from. We celebrate life because it's going to end, get it?

When Paul Bettany says the line in the movie it alludes to the love letter, expresses sorrow that things have turned out the way they have, and it's said as a wish for salvaging what can be salvaged.

In short, that line is love, sorrow, and a wish all rolled into a handful of words. Who could wish for a better title?

A Change in Weather

I love the transitional seasons - you get to start breaking out of the weather rut you've been in and start wearing clothes that haven't seen the light of day in months. Today we're over seventy degrees, I had the house open all morning, and I'm only now starting to do anything particularly productive (boy do I love Thursdays). Today, I dusted off my sandals and decided to risk it. I spent some time outside, too, and my face feels hot still from what's sure to be a faint sunburn. I've got to say, even without knowing that spring break is next week, I'd still be in a great mood right now. It's nearly impossible to be cranky on a day this gorgeous.

Other reasons to be in a good mood:

Between various readings/receptions, etc. this has been a busy but fun week. Tonight I'm off to a fiction reading by Annie Dawid.

I scored the night off tomorrow and will be meeting up with the gang for dinner.

Last night I got a line from the movie A Knight's Tale stuck in my head, and only figured out where it had come from this morning. This is relevant because I think I may have a title for my thesis now.

Since I think I've decided on a thesis title, I figure I ought to have a story of the same name.

I went to the library today and picked up some books, one of which sparked an idea of what I should do for my thesis title story.

I'm excited about writing a story again after so long of writing only poems, and not so many of those.

Bar Pages: Almost Done With the Nearly Titled Story

I took myself and my notebook out to the bar tonight and finished The Tree Story. I finally figured out the technical part of it and got through the end. It doesn't quite work yet, but I figure I can fix a lot as I transcribe it onto the computer. So, even though the story is complete, it's not really finished yet as a rough draft. I was aiming to submit it tomorrow, but it's going to have to wait.

Getting out of the house with my notebook has been nice. It's a good rhythm for me right now and it helps to have that designated time set aside where I just have writing to focus on without thoughts of homework from my classes, planning for Comp., or any of the dozen other distractions I have at home.

Writing at the bar also provides entertainment for bystanders. Tonight I was asked by half a dozen people how I could write in the midst of all the activity. I'm just one of those people who works well with background noise. My earliest writing habits were developed while I was in middle school and working on a story in the midst of a lecture, so I'm used to it.

I also had a request from a couple of regulars/friends of mine to read the story once I get it typed up. Having "civilians" read my work actually makes me more nervous than having other writerly folk read it. All I can figure is that, with other writers, I know approximately what to expect. Their comments may be critical, but I know what direction they're coming from.

Now I've just got to type it all up, fix it, and decide whether or not the title is going to have "Madeline" in it. Piece of cake.

Story Kung Fu

When we talk about writing, we talk a lot about technique and certain rules, like avoiding adverbs. Less often, we talk about instinct. Maybe we talk about it less because it's more along the lines of talent - you can't really teach it.

Today I'm working some more on the story I don't have a name for yet. This time the lack of title isn't bothering me, I think because I'm substituting title with that painting. This story, like An Ocean Kind of Blue makes sense in my mind through images just as much as through words, so I'm still grounded, even without the title.

As I'm typing, I'm going slow, which means spending time focusing on details: the sound of sharpening a razor, a song being hummed, skinning an eel. I finished a paragraph and paused. These details are coming out as much on their own as through conscious thought from me. The question is, why these details? It's the unconscious part of me slipping them in, working to build a certain kind of tone. How effective it is waits to be seen, but that's not the part I'm interested in right now. The interesting part is the instinctive part that says, "Describe sharpening the razor as a whisper." When I add the details together, I can see exactly what my intentions are with them, but it's not until I can add them together that I get the picture of what I'm working toward. It just kind of happened that I started describing things a certain way.

A funny thing happens when we write. It's got a bit of dissociative personality about it. You write with one mind thinking things through logically: to get from point A to point D, we're going to hit point B, then point C is going to be this... Then, we have our second mind sneaking things in while we're not looking. That second mind is the instinct part, the part that's been paying attention while we read our favorite novels, stories, poems and taking notes.

Remember the Kung Fu movies where the Sensei tells the student that a good fighter doesn't watch for where the next strike is coming from, they sense it. Then the Sensei blindfolds the student and we get a montage that starts out funny because the student keeps getting hit, then they slowly get the hang of it and we get a bit of slow motion and end on the blindfolded student expertly blocking a blow.

The moral of the story: Watch out for those unplanned bits that creep into your writing, sometimes you're smarter than you think you are.

Now, with that said, I'm assuming you've got an example or two of your own. So, tell me, what's your favorite example of your inner blindfolded Kung Fu master? When's the last time you looked over something you'd written and had that moment of "Wow, that was a brilliant accident! I didn't know I was that smart"?

Calling it "Totem"

"An animal, plant, or natural object serving among certain tribal or traditional peoples as the emblem of a clan or family and sometimes revered as its founder, ancestor, or guardian."
-American Heritage Dictionary

Right now, Jenny's thinking about the title for her novel and titles in general. Okay, I can springboard off of that.

"But wait, didn't you just write a post about discovering the title for your thesis?"

You got me there. Still, I feel prompted to write more about it. Sue me.

One of Jenny's questions about FJR is negotiating the balance between having a title that she likes and having one that everybody else likes. It raises another question - what's the purpose of a title? On one hand, you have a title so that people can call it something more specific than "the story about the guy who..." On the other, titles work as a key to the piece. They help readers unlock it.

Then, too, there are writers who use the title as a guide for what they're writing. For me, titles are less about creating and more about discovering. My main question for myself when I title something is, "What's the single most important part of this piece?" Once I have that question answered, I not only know where my title will come from, I also have a clearer picture of what the story needs to do. This means I know how I should write it, or how I should revise it, in order to make it do what I want it to. Put metaphorically, with the way I write, titles are like the totems for my pieces. The symbollic guide.

For now, the working title for my thesis is Totem, not so much because I'm set on that being the final title, but because it clarifies my goal for me. The idea of a totem is one thing that anchors the pieces I'm most sure will be in my thesis. It starts with Albatross and ends up some place I haven't figured out yet, but my line of sight is getting clearer. Finding the right title is like adjusting the focus on a set of binoculars, it takes some fiddling, but it helps make what you're seeing clearer.

Now, this isn't to say that once I have the title down, the rest of the story is suddenly fixed. If that were the case, this whole writing gig would be much too easy. However, I find that if I don't have a title for the piece, I have a terrible time pegging it down. Without a title that clicks, I have no guide.

Naming the Thesis

My thesis is providing entertainment for many people I know, with frequent questions regarding what it's about, how it's going, etc. A few people have read some of the stories which will be included in the thesis. They've commented on the bird theme. Heck, one of the stories is titled Albatross after all. Jenny's even proposed titles like Pieces of Birds for the thesis.

All this time looking for a unifying element, and could it really be just that easy? Granted, there are some stories I've originally planned to include in the thesis which have no avians in them at all, but that'll work itself out one way or another.

I was just cruising some of my favorite bead-related blogs, and read this post by Luann Udell. In it, she mentions finding inspiration in different images of horses. She's got a horse theme going for her, guiding her even? As we know, I've got a bird theme going for me.

I once had a conversation with a woman named Tempest about how my creative totem/guide is an American Kestrel, a falcon which has long been one of my favorites - I admit one of my reasons for liking them is their small size which, at 5' 2", I identify with.

Now I'm wondering whether or not Totem, or something like that, would work as a thesis title. In Albatross and Strong Heart, my two solidly bird-related stories, the idea of bird as guide fits well. I also like the idea of the fairy tale tie-in, with the principle of the magical guide and the fact that those guides were often animals.

It might work.

No Longer the La Llarona Story

It's been interesting to see people's responses to my question on titles. For some, titles are everything, for others titles are one of the last things that come into the writing equation.

Like I mentioned, titles are a clarifying tool for me. It's like adjusting the magnification on a microscope. You're always looking at the same thing, it's just the knobs that you adjust, but all of a sudden that slide you're looking at is clear instead of fuzzy and you finally know exactly what you're looking at.

Yesterday I spent some time asking myself questions about the La Llarona story and what it was really about, what was I really getting at, who was truly my focal figure, and what exactly was I trying to say about them? At the end of these questions, I had a title: When Ben Bucater Met His First Ghost. It's not a perfect title, and I may change the wording a bit, but it's there. It says what I want it to and now I have the right magnifying lense to use when I look the story over again and do some revising.

It's a small thing for some, but a big "click" moment for me. It even makes that sound in my head, a metallic sound like the sound of switching lenses on a microscope (thus the analogy, see?).

Ignoring Deb, U-Turns, and A Need for Titles

I managed to get everything done that I needed to yesterday, plus a quick shopping trip for new jeans, and wound up at the coffee shop plenty early. Latte in hand, I snagged the comfy seats by the fire, scooted the table up, and got to writing.

About a page later, I was at a climax point, where I had originally planned to wrap up the La Llarona story. The ghost has a hold of the boy, he's struggling to get away... and then he does. That was not my plan. Every writer talks about times when the story gets away from them and all of a sudden the writer realizes that they're not driving any more. In my case, I realized there were about three more pages to the story (if not more when I start to revise).

Before I could finish, Deb walked in with her laptop and said she was going to ignore me for a while to do some writing of her own. So, there we sat, ignoring each other for a while until the rest of the gang started to wander in. I finished my rough draft, finally, and resigned myself to the fact that this story is going to be more work than I originally planned it to be. I'll tell you right now, this rough draft is one of the roughest I've ever produced. Usually, I'm more of a writer who does mental pre-writing and then when I get to physical writing, I've got a pretty good idea of what's going on. Not this time. Not by a long shot.

I'm beginning to sense a pattern, as well. Right now I've got two stories I keep calling The __ Story and both have proven to be very problematic. I think the lack of clear title and the lack of clear vision go hand-in-hand. When I think of titles, I think of distilling the essence of what the story is all about and pasting a few words to that effect at the top. I can't help but think that once I get the perfect title for these problem stories, the rest of the difficulties I'm having with them will fix themselves. Focus, right? Clarity of vision.

So tell me, what's your title philosophy? Does having a strong title make it easier for you to writ the story that goes with it? Or, do titles come last in your writing process?