Sunday, October 21, 2007

WM Excerpt: La Llarona

-Here's a WM blurb. I opted to use a passage from the spot where I handed my notebook over to Jenny. The font change is where she started. (P.S. you can't tell from this, but Jenny's handwriting is much nicer than mine. Dang her.)-

Ben left for school early again. The ghost didn't look at him this time either. He sat down beside her. He reached for her hand. It felt cottony and not as solid as it should have been. "You didn't mean it," he said.

Slowly, the woman turned. Her eyes were all black, as if the pupils had grown too big and taken over her whole eyes.
Shadows of tear tracks traced the contours of her nose. They reminded Ben of weeping statues and dry river beds.

She said, as if he had not spoken directly to her her, "Would you like to walk beside the river with me?"

3 comments:

Mishell said...

What a great last line! Is this all the story? Or is there more? I think it could use a little more, just so the last line gets its full share of creepiness. (People out of the south west probably haven't heard of La Llarona.)

Ali said...

There's quite a bit more, but this bit makes a scene of its own so I figured it'd make a good excerpt.

If people haven't heard of La Llarona, well, that's what Google is for. :)

-John said...

That kid might end up being gun-shy about skinny dipping.