Bullet Biting

I've been avoiding working on my thesis preface about as long as I've been working on my thesis. The whole idea of talking critically about my own work just felt wrong. One of the reasons I write fiction is so it can stand on its own, so I don't have to explain everything. Not to mention the part where talking about myself seemed awful egocentric.

Last week I promised Juan preface pages by today. This morning I had none. An hour before our meeting I had none. But, I had a deadline. I chomped down and came up with two pages.

Me: I know it's not much, but it should be enough for you to tell if I've got the right approach or if I'm doing it all wrong.
Juan: Alright, let me have a look.

I handed it to him and watched him read it. Physically watching people read my work is always unnerving. Takes an eternity too. He nodded a couple of times. Make a couple of marks, and then looked up at me.
Juan: There are things you'll need to work on more, but you've got the jist.

My reaction surprised me. It was along the lines of, "Oh, really? I actually have an idea of what this should look like? Wow."

I'm still not incredibly excited about this part of my thesis, but something's clicked in my head. After so much time going around and around and talking with different people about what this needs to be, I think I finally get it. Big relief, let me tell you.